https://www.marissagaster.com/blog daily 0.75 2022-10-24 https://www.marissagaster.com/blog/and-so-this-process-starts monthly 0.5 2020-10-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1603406672648-EBJGSPHUK331JT16G6Y0/IMG_5134.jpg Blog - Post #1 - The Times They Are A-Changin’ I remember so vividly, the Sunday before (the 14th) like a video in my mind. My boyfriend, Rich, and I went for a walk near us. I remember him taking a few steps in front of me, and looking at him with the clearest blue skies behind him, and thinking to myself, “This may be the last day that I’m not worried about the next thing.” https://www.marissagaster.com/blog/a-hard-rains-a-gonna-fall monthly 0.5 2020-10-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1603406121002-UHUGCISPXMCJFUOXJTMO/IMG_5133.jpg Blog - Post #2 - Time Passes Slowly - I had just celebrated my 42nd birthday in Ohio with my family and now I have to face my future. I felt like the visit with my family was giving me the strength to face this appointment. https://www.marissagaster.com/blog/post-3-a-hard-rains-a-gonna-fall monthly 0.5 2020-10-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1603405802674-VV07Z24XVUJH5091T2E1/IMG_5089.JPG Blog - Post #3 - A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall - My surgery was on September 17th. I had to be there at 7:20am. Once again, the drive was a blur. I know traffic was bad, and I was stressed about it, but the other details are hazy. Once we got to the hospital in the city, I was taken back to change into a gown and robe. I was asked a million different questions and I had 2 IV’s started - one in each hand. I had to sign forms giving my mother and Rich the ability to make life decisions for me if I could not. I had to decide what kind of pain management I wanted - IV or epidural. I kept getting up to go to the bathroom, as my nerves were on high alert. Rich had to step away as they put my epidural in and I knew my time had almost come. To say I was scared is such an understatement. I was petrified. Knowing that Rich could not be there when I woke up made me so sad. They said we would FaceTime him from recovery, but because of covid, he couldn’t be there. I kissed him and watched him walk away. I knew it was breaking his heart, too. Trying to make it ok for him was an undertaking, emotionally, that I was not ready for - I’m not sure anyone would be prepared for that. My doctors had told me I would be staying in the hospital 6-8 days as they were removing 12” - 18” of my colon. Thinking of Rich being home alone (and feeding himself!) broke my heart. I knew he didn’t like the idea, but he stayed strong for me. https://www.marissagaster.com/blog/post-4-desolation-row-hospital-days-2-5 monthly 0.5 2020-10-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1603825637020-S4AL001V0FGLQ9ZR3AID/IMG_5096.JPG Blog - Post #4 - Desolation Row - Rich walked in and I just felt a sense of calm. He walked in with a smile on his face - not that I could see it through his mask; his eyes let me know he was smiling. He made his way over to me, kissed me, and gave me a half-hug (as I couldn’t stand), and then it happened. I started to vomit. Like many men (in my experience), Rich is not good at the vomit thing. I was yelling “Look away!” like Melissa McCarthy in “Bridesmaids” while heaving into a bag and Susan rubbing my back…again. It ended as quickly as it began. I then started to have tremors in my arms and legs that I could not control. My teeth were chattering, like I was freezing; but, I wasn’t cold at all. I was told the pain team would be in to see me and they would help by adjusting my level of pain medication. That was fine by me as I really didn’t have any pain. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1603475962493-3X3V08F3WIIWRN0P7G5M/IMG_2461_Original.jpg Blog - Post #4 - Desolation Row - I then FaceTimed my sister, Dawn. Throughout my entire process, my big sister was a rock. She was never hysterical, dramatic, or overly-emotional. It was all very “what’s next” and “I’m here for you.” That’s all I wanted or needed - and I think Dawnnie knew that. As soon as I saw her face, I cried. She spoke to me as much and as often as I needed. Days get very long in the hospital when you’re alone and you can’t have a rotation of visitors. (I had a great roommate, DiDi - I’ll get to her in a future post!) Dawnnie always answered and made me laugh. As children, we used to play a game called “Make Me Laugh”. I guess it was all practice leading us up to this moment. She knew that was exactly what I needed her to do: listen, talk, and bring humor to this very scary and anxiety-riddled time. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1603473915309-J3671M31IXNTSR2O3FS9/IMG_5098.jpg Blog - Post #4 - Desolation Row https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1603473915414-G95S1V9IEK7JOPT7HXCH/IMG_5099.jpg Blog - Post #4 - Desolation Row https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1603473917831-V02YFF8BNY4U86E0OXGF/IMG_5100.jpg Blog - Post #4 - Desolation Row https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1603473918647-QB7J8ZAHVKSAESIOX6B8/IMG_5104.jpg Blog - Post #4 - Desolation Row https://www.marissagaster.com/blog/post-5-shelter-from-the-storm monthly 0.5 2020-11-07 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1603825313816-US4RZOW5JYW4RW6OZ5UM/IMG_5107.jpg Blog - Post #5 - Shelter from the Storm - Rich did the best he could to make the ride home manageable. As we pulled in, I tried to get myself out of the car to no avail. Rich helped me out, and I was able to take the 6 stairs into our doorway. I began sobbing again. Somehow my home felt foreign to me. Everything looked like an obstacle and not somewhere that was going to be easy for me to navigate. Rich made me a piece of toast and some tea so I didn’t lose my strength. As I made my way to the first-floor master, I realized just how high off the ground our bed is, and how hard it was going to be for me to get in-and-out of it on my own. So, Rich moved one of our dining room chairs into our bedroom so I could watch TV in there while awaiting the arrival of my parents. He had to go upstairs, into his office, as he still had work - it was a Wednesday. I tried to remain calm and find a comfortable position. I can’t recall what I half-watched, as all I wanted was to see my mom and dad. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1604174677843-4WTFGXF4FFC46WQXIHAG/IMG_4568.jpg Blog - Post #5 - Shelter from the Storm https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1604174718870-O1W58C2B25TSD4KKSX7C/IMG_1154_Original.jpg Blog - Post #5 - Shelter from the Storm https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1604174744659-XFGH16GT3WV5HKQMAYGB/IMG_1158_Original.jpg Blog - Post #5 - Shelter from the Storm https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1604174852285-8C7YFDEITTYOMCV9I5FQ/IMG_4596.jpg Blog - Post #5 - Shelter from the Storm https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1604598440551-AA6BF3VQDJPJD3D9OE2D/IMG_4649.JPG Blog - Post #5 - Shelter from the Storm - The next couple of days were filled with laughter, walks, movies, tv, and long meals around our table. I knew I was progressing. The taste of food was getting better everyday, and I felt a bit stronger every day. The hardest part, and forgive me for speaking about this, has been getting my bowels back to “normal”. Having a foot of my colon removed had (and still) wreaks havoc on my digestive track. I never knew I’d be so comfortable speaking about bowel movements with anyone who asks. https://www.marissagaster.com/blog/post-6-if-you-see-her-say-hello monthly 0.5 2020-11-13 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1605121919554-J2AWIEN9W1COB5VMLJ2N/IMG_5116.jpg Blog - Post #6 - If You See Her, Say Hello - I knew I was getting stronger day by day. This was not going to be an easy recovery for my body or mind. My mental and emotional well-being was harder to cope with than my physical pain. The only real pain (I still have some discomfort) I had was due to my staples - they would catch on anything and everything I wore. I was able to get around a little bit easier, cook for both Rich and myself, and I built up to walking the whole length of my usual workout. The picture says it all - that was the first time I did the whole walk (albeit slowly) all by myself. Rich was trusting me to do more and more, while keeping an eye on me at all times. He knows I’m not the most patient person; especially, with myself. Slowly but surely, I was getting there. My team of doctors had been checking on me, via phone, and set up my post-op for October 6th - 19 days after my surgery. I was told that I would receive the final pathology report, discuss next steps, and my staples would be taken out. https://www.marissagaster.com/blog/post-7- monthly 0.5 2020-11-20 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1605913560547-TBE28F6AJPL3YB3SSCW9/IMG_5147.jpg Blog - Post #7 - Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right - Since I went through the surgery, and I’m on my way to a full recovery, I fully admit that I border on being an asshole from time-to-time. I’m still building up my stamina and trying to use my endorphins to deal with the cocktail of emotions I deal with on a daily basis. I am so full of gratitude - I have never felt this much in my life. I’ve had family members and friends go through heartbreaking illness and come out on the other side; however, the appreciation of health has never felt like this. So, while I sit with my gratitude, this annoying feeling comes creeping in and lets me know there is going to be a new feeling. Guilt. This was such an odd combination of feelings. It started while I was still at MSK, it just took me a bit of time to process it all. I believe I’m a very self-aware human and I’m able to call myself an asshole when needed. I also did a lot of searching inward before reaching outside of myself for some possible help. https://www.marissagaster.com/blog/post-8-make-you-feel-my-love monthly 0.5 2020-12-04 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1606168990030-61A9BT0Q788OHO8P4CEX/IMG_5067.jpg Blog - Post #8 - Make You Feel My Love https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1606169048188-KY2CZ6QOTRQLMURE14O7/IMG_0082_Original.jpg Blog - Post #8 - Make You Feel My Love https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1606169145753-H5S0VTED78SUST2DPR7N/IMG_1496_Original.jpg Blog - Post #8 - Make You Feel My Love https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1606169220926-ME9B7I6UMO1IESFHQYIY/IMG_2019_Original.jpg Blog - Post #8 - Make You Feel My Love https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1606169250428-PZX6G0J7TIX8BTVI00SP/IMG_2435_Original.jpg Blog - Post #8 - Make You Feel My Love https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1606169541889-3Q5KEBD3Y3Q85S6QZDCK/IMG_3287.jpg Blog - Post #8 - Make You Feel My Love https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1606169577530-Z427G1M65C1EH7S28ZPH/188F936E-BB86-4DD2-B52D-E4DF0675C538.JPG Blog - Post #8 - Make You Feel My Love https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1606169609547-1IJ5IFEMBVLVBTNDIIZS/BFD520B6-54D5-4085-B88B-3F0DCA371DC6.JPG Blog - Post #8 - Make You Feel My Love https://www.marissagaster.com/blog/post-9-title-tbd monthly 0.5 2020-12-18 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1607727658030-28BLLQV4GDCJKDPR01U3/Photo+on+12-11-20+at+5.19+PM+%232.jpg Blog - Post #9 - Gonna Change My Way of Thinking - I’ve always thought of myself as a fairly strong, independent woman - a fighter. I accept what life throws my way, and I try to make the best of it. When life knocks me down, I try and stand up every single time - even when I’m exhausted and don’t think I can stand on my own two feet. I feel fire and passion inside of me when challenged and take it head on. As soon as I saw the look in his eyes, I felt different. I can’t remember a time when I saw someone look at me with pity. If it ever happened, I didn’t know it did. A repercussion I didn’t see coming, with my diagnosis and survivorship, was handling everyone else’s reaction to my illness. I had seen others go through this, even in my own family, but I never knew what it would feel like. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I’m so very lucky my closest people didn’t freak out or treat me any differently. There was one very funny moment with my mother, where she yelled at me, “Put that down! You’re sick!”, as I lifted gallons of water for her at the grocery store. Not the greatest thing to announce during a global pandemic, but it made me laugh hysterically. And, then it kind of hit me, I had been sick. Because I had no symptoms, and I had no after-treatment, I just had been thinking of my cancer as an operation, and *poof*, it was gone! It has taken me some time for my brain to catch up on the fact that I had been very sick. https://www.marissagaster.com/blog/qibppz2mqw3wrwafz4hghc5sbim8i7 monthly 0.5 2021-03-20 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1608309220925-MM9GCU7AJR5QXXSUSYHK/IMG_5287.jpg Blog - Post #10- Things Have Changed - A memory that I love and cherish from my childhood is my mother taking my sister, Dawn, and me to feed ducks and geese at a huge lake in the Metroparks of Cleveland. We would all go and take stale bread, tear it into little pieces, and feed the ducks that came up to us. My mom would hold onto the back of the sweatshirt or t-shirt that we would wear, so we wouldn’t fall in. I used to love doing this activity and seeing how graceful and calm the ducks were gliding across the water (despite my huge fear of birds). This leads me to ask you a favor - please don’t stop asking me how I am….just know that I am I’m kind of like one of those ducks these days: on the surface, I’m super calm and gliding across the water with ease; however, under the water, I am paddling like hell just to stay afloat. https://www.marissagaster.com/blog/post-11-tough-mama monthly 0.5 2021-01-11 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1609954039693-DFM3ACNYZR2VEQCOWP1P/IMG_2029_Original.jpg Blog - Post #11 - Tough Mama - About 8 months into my unemployment, I had my 39th birthday (left picture). I was with Rich and his family celebrating, and when we got home, we looked through the pictures we took. One thing was clear - we were fat. I stared at the pictures and was shocked at how we had let ourselves be blind to our weight gain. It was the consequence that comes with drinking, dating, eating at fine restaurants, and being in love. Rich NEVER made me feel fat, or like I needed to lose weight - I did. So, at that moment, I looked at Rich and said we were going to lose weight - we owed it to ourselves and to our future. I knew we were better than what we had become. Enough of our gluttonous lifestyle - we were going to do this. I was giving myself this gift for my 40th birthday. By the time my next birthday hit, I lost 40 pounds (right pic). Within that year, I learned what and how to eat, and, exercise became something I looked forward to and not something I dreaded. I never knew how much I was going to need this new lifestyle. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1609953433728-UBTKZBYKWCU0S0T0MPUM/IMG_5370.jpg Blog - Post #11 - Tough Mama https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1609953433769-2RJO8B05FDK2Q2GM37XC/IMG_5371.jpg Blog - Post #11 - Tough Mama https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1609953434329-B2EZ1ZKYYVVWPOA6O5X4/IMG_5372.jpg Blog - Post #11 - Tough Mama https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1609953434445-K28DE4CELF3MB0Y9M0UH/IMG_5373.jpg Blog - Post #11 - Tough Mama https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1610323400516-L59SVYLULJBVBJJARYKQ/IMG_5379.jpg Blog - Post #11 - Tough Mama - Since I have been home, the voices of my nurses at MSK have become very loud in my head. I know I need to keep moving to keep my system moving. So, this new treadmill has been everything for me! It has been tough trying to get my body back to where it once was. I get frustrated most days and feel like the process of healing has been taking too long. I try and do the treadmill everyday as well as working on my exercise ball (my new bff) to stretch out my ab muscles and start rebuilding them. I can actually plank again and can sit up without the use of my arms. It may seem like that is not a big deal; however, for me, it has been a huge milestone. I get winded if the incline is too high during my walk, and I haven’t tried jogging yet. I know slow and steady is the way for me to go. I’m working up to jogging while pushing myself for distance, incline, and longevity in the meantime. Finding patience and kindness for myself has been one of the largest challenges for me. I try and talk to myself the way I would speak to a friend or family member that I love. It’s very difficult for me to find sympathy and humility as I can be very hard on myself. https://www.marissagaster.com/blog/idiot-wind monthly 0.5 2021-05-04 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1620075999915-HYBPFK5BKX1CY2XIJQEQ/IMG_5740.jpg Blog - Post #15 - Idiot Wind - If more people kept this word out of their mouths, just think about how much judgment would fall by the wayside. Why do we (as people living within a society) feel like we can tell adults what they should or should not do; or, why do we tell anyone how they should feel; what people should look like; what people should wear; how or what people should eat; what people should watch; and, finally, why do people tell me how I should cope with my experience? https://www.marissagaster.com/blog/just-like-a-woman monthly 0.5 2021-02-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1613765586188-ZJYZ23VMBKOO764LEBM6/IMG_5524.PNG Blog - Post #12 - Just Like a Woman - Allow me to back this up for a moment. I have looked at preventative care and tests as such a privilege and part of self-care. I felt so responsible and carefree staying on top of all my routine doctor appointments - except mammograms and ultrasounds. They have always made me feel a bit uneasy, as these tests only look for one thing - abnormalities - aka: cancer. It’s never for a better outcome than when you first walked in. But, in being responsible to myself (and my loved ones) I always make sure to get them. We also have a history of breast cancer in my family, and I am someone who has always wanted to know if something is wrong. That way - you can fight any battle - as long as you know there’s a battle to be fought. Whether or not you know if something is amiss, or if there is a “thing” - it’s not going to just go away. I always want to know and then figure out what to do next. https://www.marissagaster.com/blog/it-aint-me-babe monthly 0.5 2021-03-20 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1616182619302-JXR2JDLE5WHR6TK3773A/IMG_5627.jpg Blog - Post #13 - It Ain’t Me, Babe - A brand new label that came from this journey is “sober”. Anyone that knew me in my teenage years, into my 20’s and through most of my 30’s knew me as a drinker - wait, let me rephrase that. A heavy, binge drinker. I was out 3-4 times a week until all hours of the morning drinking with friends, keeping up with the boys, and “celebrating” life. Numbing stress and using alcohol as a coping mechanism was the way I rolled. Drinking was involved in almost ALL activities: brunches, lunches, dinner, weekends, parties, unwinding after work, etc… There weren’t any functions that didn’t usually involve alcohol. It seemed normal and just what we did. There were times I would go through bouts of sobriety, but I never thought I wouldn’t drink again. https://www.marissagaster.com/blog/down-the-highway monthly 0.5 2021-04-02 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1617378421995-1UF4830UV3D1I45IYUIJ/IMG_5637.jpg Blog - Post #14 - Down the Highway - I spoke with the nurse, repeating my name and birthdate; she told me once again about all the side effects; and, she asked how I did after my first shot. We basically covered the covid vaccine’s greatest hits. She commented on my tattoos and told me about a female tattoo artist that she had become close to. This artist donates nipple tattoos to breast cancer survivors that have had their breasts rebuilt after having a mastectomy. Cue up the shame spiral once again. While asking how I faired after receiving my first shot, I told her my arm had been sore, but it was no big deal. The nurse with the kind eyes, told me that after having surgery at MSK, none of “us” (the patients) were ever concerned with these small things. She reminded me that “we” were warriors, that we had fought the big battles, and we were there to tell our stories. I thought to myself, “Wow. Another label that I never saw coming my way.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1616687986198-47PUIZMS24880PJDIURZ/IMG_5636.jpg Blog - Post #14 - Down the Highway - Needles and shots have never bothered me. Before my summer of surgeries, taking blood was never an issue - I would watch the nurses put the needle in and draw the blood. I didn’t love it, I just accepted it as part of an overall process. Once upon a time, I was not skeeved out by it. Since my surgeries this past summer, anyone examining me, taking blood, or fussing over me (for lack of a better term), irritates me. I feel like a cat being pet the wrong way. I don’t want to be touched in this way; I don’t want to be poked or prodded; and, I certainly don’t want to be examined. My nurse was nice, and walked me through every step of the way. I just kept my eye on the prize - not dying from covid. I asked the nurse if I could take a picture of this monumental event and she obliged. I promised not to get her in the shot. I knew this vaccine meant seeing my family without any nerves; seeing my sister as it has been almost a year since I’ve been able to hug her and laugh with her; I could sit and chat with my grandmother without worrying that I could kill her. I was doing it for me; I was doing it for my family; I was doing it for future laughs and memories that need to be made. https://www.marissagaster.com/blog/post-15-one-too-many-mornings monthly 0.5 2021-05-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1620071295126-KVDZCF84AKA3T9ZUM1HE/IMG_5735.jpg Blog - Post #16 - One Too Many Mornings - I woke up very early the next morning to get back to the beautiful glass structure for my thyroid ultrasound. I wasn’t too nervous as I have had many ultrasounds and was just committed to going through the motions. I had a super nice tech and we chatted through the entire, gooey process. She did tell me that she could see that I was someone who has a thyroid issue. As I am medicated for hypothyroidism, I was not surprised. She did say that she could see the “texture” of it was “off” and that I would always needs meds to regulate it. She did notice a small inflammation on my left side and said it may be because my covid vaccination was on my left side - but, she couldn’t be sure. We wrapped up and I was on my way back home for another day of awaiting results. Rich and I went for a walk and at about 5:15pm, Esther called me and said my thyroid was inflamed. Awesome. She said it was nothing to be alarmed about and it was nothing urgent, but I may want to see a specialist, which she recommended, who only focuses on thyroids. I thought it would be better to get a sign off from him. She set up an appointment for the following week with Dr. U. Thankfully, it would just be a telehealth visit. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1620070994420-Y3EWYO3QGCOB1DHZR7GW/IMG_5730.jpg Blog - Post #16 - One Too Many Mornings https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1620070994336-V8U360IA0QZ7MMGQ80WM/IMG_5731.jpg Blog - Post #16 - One Too Many Mornings https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1620071083620-B0ODPDJ2LYZMFX5BLS9E/IMG_5732.jpg Blog - Post #16 - One Too Many Mornings https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1620071083880-TY5H36QKTS5NQGGPL4BU/IMG_5733.jpg Blog - Post #16 - One Too Many Mornings https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1620071084115-3HSGLWLTWDISUXKG10X9/IMG_5734.jpg Blog - Post #16 - One Too Many Mornings https://www.marissagaster.com/blog/post-17- monthly 0.5 2021-07-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1625265359544-0OENDYSJO7F5B8HD5L4O/IMG_2985_Original.jpg Blog - Post #17 - Mr. Tambourine Man https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1625265388029-5SI6YDEY06V43UT27TM2/IMG_0226_Original.jpg Blog - Post #17 - Mr. Tambourine Man https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1625265421307-X4UXPC3JR2RDETWEDWCR/231EB976-CDAC-42E4-AA10-6F329B814907.JPG Blog - Post #17 - Mr. Tambourine Man https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1625265532119-JNKV19XS0YS1J00AKMN6/IMG_0614_Original.jpg Blog - Post #17 - Mr. Tambourine Man https://www.marissagaster.com/about daily 1.0 2020-10-23 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f90a1bd4f4aef1885fbd27c/1603316350388-ZZRH540VUOS9O0208RRF/IMG_4861.jpg About - And one day it all changed… I was a woman living her dream in NY. I had an amazing career in fashion; I had an outstanding boyfriend whom I adored and lived with; and, I had a fantastically supportive and loving family. Now, all these things remain true, but it all changed the day I heard, “It’s cancer.” I’m hoping this blog not only helps me heal; I’m hoping it helps people understand my journey, and, maybe, helps another survivor heal.